Everywhere else in Poland they ask, "Excuse me, what's the time?". And in Poznań? They say, "Excuse me, what's the tiiiiiime?"
The vowel "i" is strongly stressed and melodious. This is what people say about the Poznań dialect, that it is streesed, melodious and twisted at the end of a sentence, like a moustache.
However, even if somebody doesn't have the typical Poznań accent, may be still recognised by using words or phrases.
You don't phone somebody, you ring them. A light is lit or put out (like a candle) and not switched on or off. For breakfast you eat a "skibka", Poznanian for a thick slice of bread, not a "kromka" or a "pajda" as everywhere else. And for tea, you eat sweet, rather than cake. A ball bowls, not rolls. You wash "statki" (boats) instead of "naczynia" (dishes). In the bakery it seems the fresh rolls have left, not run out.
And finally, the phrase that makes Polish visitors laugh the most - here you make the bed instead of putting sheets on it. "Make the bed" a Poznanian will say in the evening, but don't run for a hammer and nails, just bring a pillow and a duvet.
"What can I do about it? Is it my fault?" - that's Polish. And in Poznań? "What can I do for it?" It's easy to recognize Poznań people by this phrase, because they don't even know it's only used here.
There are other phrases Poznań is famous for. Everyone in Poland has heard of "pyry" (potatoes). It's still okay to say "ziemniaki" here but it's out of the question to use "kartofle". "Pyry z gzikiem" - potatoes with cottage cheese and cream is a popular Poznań snack. Just like "ślepe ryby" (blind fish) that have as much in common with fish as "making the bed" with tools. You'd be surprised, but "ślepe ryby" is a soup made of... "pyry" - potato soup. The best is made with "myrdyrda", that is thickened with a roux. Meanwhile, potato pancakes are known in Poznań as "plyndze".
And, of course, there's the famous "tej", from which Zenon Laskowik and Bohdan Smoleń's cabaret took its name. "Tej" doesn't really mean anything at all and it isn't uses when talking to a stranger. "Powiedz mi, tej" (Tell me, tej.) is okay, but "niech pan mi powie, tej" (Excuse me, could you please tell me, tej) is absolutely out of the question.
And here is some Poznań-Polish small talk:
* "W antrejce na ryczce stały pyry w tytce" - In the hall on the stool there were potatoes in a paper bag.
* "Pamper jeden, kupił ancug za ciężkie bejmy i amba mu odbiła, że taki niby fifny. Jadaka mu się nie zamyka" - An idiot bought an expensive suit and is boasting how handsome he is. He can't stop talking.)
*"Jak wyliziesz nabąbany z bany, to weź bimbę trzynastkę albo zamów dryndę" -When you get off drunk from the train, get on the number 13 tram or take a taxi.)
*"Dziabara taka, a on w samych badejkach, aż mam o niego fefry" - I fear for him, because it's so cold and he's only in his swimming trunks.
*"A idź w pyry z tym durnym kejtrem!" - Go to hell with that stupid dog!
And finally something for afters. Hands up who knows the meaning of the word "ameryka" (america) in Poznanian?
"Girami się nakryła i pokazała całkom amerykę "
"Nakryć się girami" means to tumble over. In such a way that your legs are in the air. And what can everybody see, then? America...
More similar tips: "Zrób to w Poznaniu. Przewodnik alternatywny. Do it in Poznań. Alternative guide"